by admin on February 21, 2010
Jake woke up and straggled into the bathroom for his morning duties before opening the outside door and picking the paper up from the steps.
Sitting down with a cup of coffee, more like a triple espresso than a regular brew, he turned to the lottery results.
“Holy shit,” he said aloud as he checked the numbers.
It looked like he’d won, if not the grand prize, at least a big chunk of change.
He kept double checking the numbers over and over again until he was satisfied that indeed he had really won the big one, something like $7.8 million, plus or minus a few hundred grand, depending on how many last minute tickets were sold.
He sat there stunned, thoughts coming by the hundreds each minute, of what he’d do with the money, how it would change his life.
And then reality hit for just a moment.
Read the rest
by admin on July 31, 2007
Sales: “You want answers?”
Finance: “I think we are entitled to them!”
Sales: “You want answers?!”
Finance: “I want the truth!”
Sales: “You can’t handle the truth!!! Son, we live in a world that requires net license revenue. And that revenue must be brought in by people with elite skills. Who’s going to find it? You? You, Mr. Operations? We have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom.
You scoff at the sales division and you curse our lucrative incentives.
You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what we know:
That while the cost of business results are excessive, it drives revenue. And my very existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, drives REVENUE! You don’t want to know the truth because deep down in places you don’t talk about at staff meetings … you want me on that call. You NEED me on that call!
We use words like upgrades, another round, top-shelf, medium-rare, on-the-rocks, cabernet, Cohiba and foursome. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent negotiating something. You use them as a punch line!
I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to people who rise and sleep under the very blanket of revenue I provide and then question the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said “thank you” and went on your way. Otherwise I suggest you pick up a phone and make some sales calls. Either way, I don’t give a damn what you think you’re entitled to!”
Finance: “Did you expense the lap dancers?”
Sales: “I did the job I was hired to do.”
Finance: “Did you expense the lap dancers?!”
Sales: “You’re goddamn right I did!”
Found at Maggie’s Farm
